I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
