Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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