i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
