At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
