This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
