hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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