Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
