everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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