It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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