Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
