i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
