Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
