I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
