Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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