chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
