Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
