and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
