right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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