could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
