There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
