just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My vagina just clenched in fear
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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