have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
