Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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