He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I will pee on everything he values.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
