I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
