I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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