I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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