By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize