Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
