the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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