she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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