Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
