Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize