just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
