So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
