I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
