So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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