i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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