but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
