I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
