i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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