i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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