I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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