His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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