I wish life had little blips of pornography
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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