How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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