Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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