I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He shit in the fireplace
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
