i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
