Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
