at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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