If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
