You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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