On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
