We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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