Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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