my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
