I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You are a genius and a whore.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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