I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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