Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
